Edward's Rebellion
by methebookman
Summary: Ten years after becoming a vampire Edward had what he called a typical bout of rebellious adolescence. This is his story of rebellion, and what brought him back. Final Chapter now up.
1. Chapter 1Rebellion

Author's Note: I would love to hear any thoughts you have about the story. You know the whole disclaimer stuff…in other words I don't own Twilight or its characters, I am merely dabbling in the twilight universe.

Edward's Rebellion

Chapter One "Rebellion":

Year 1927, ten years after my rebirth by Carlisle.

The back of my throat scratched with the pulse that had been my constant companion for the past ten years. One of my first words after the three days that stopped my pulsing heart was "water". It was then that I learned from Carlisle what my thirst actually was. No amount of fluid would quench this thirst, except the fluid that flowed freely in the veins of those who passed by me now, with their human beating hearts.

I stood in an alleyway separated from the main road. The shadows projected from the tall buildings on either side protected my skin from sparkling in the sunlight. Normally I would have stayed inside, or at least away from any public, on a day like this, but I knew that was where Carlisle would be.

I love Carlisle as much as any son loved a father. I probably looked up to him more than I ever had my human father. It is hard to say though, as my vampire memories have tended to melt my human memories into obscurity. Today, however, I picked the sunny center of the busy city to get away from Carlisle and have my thoughts to myself. Only now as I was stuck in the alley did I realize how foolish the idea had been.

"Edward." Instinctively I snapped my head up to the unspoken voice that had called my name in my mind. It was only a non-descript girl with long brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. She was walking by thinking of her newest crush, whom was lucky enough to have my name. It was a bit annoying to have a popular name that was always being thought in someone's mind. Again I focused inwardly to try to block out the voices that constantly crowded on the edge of my consciousness.

It was because of these voices that I was alone today, away from Esme and Carlisle. Too many times I had tapped the dark corners of human's minds whom little good could be said. Too many times I had learned how these dark creatures had preyed on those who were good minded. Many times I had wanted to bring justice to these monsters, but one person stopped me…Carlisle.

Where these minds had been nothing but a shallow pool of greed and lust, Carlisle's mind was a deep ocean of compassion and love. He held hope for men long after I would give up on them. His compassion is what guided me, but now it was wavering. He had perfect sincerity in his vegetarian lifestyle, but I did not.

Why let the monsters go free? I knew their thoughts, what they planned. I could rid the world of their filth, and appease the physical appetite I had forbidden for ten long years. The monster inside of me agreed as a fresh wave of thirst parched my mouth. A slight drop of venom caressed my tongue in anticipation of food.

With a soft breeze the scent of another human passing by the alley reached me. I could taste the venom coming to my mouth. Scouring his thoughts, they were nothing but of himself and his desires. They were boring, but innocent. The sun lowered over the horizon, bathing all in twilight again. It was time for me to go back home and tell Carlisle and Esme what I had decided. Making my way through the forest I headed for the small clearing our home was in. I could hear Esme's thoughts before I saw the house. She was trying to make things perfect for Carlisle as he returned home from the hospital. Her thoughts were happy, which I hoped would help soften the blow for what I planned.

I waited in my room until Carlisle had entered the home before I came to face him.

"Carlisle we need to talk." The strobes of thoughts were immediate. _Has there been an accident? Does someone know? Do we need to move? Where's Esme? _ Esme who could hear the seriousness in my voice from the next room joined us, along with her own strobe of thoughts.

"Our secret is fine, but I can't do it anymore."

Realization sparked in his eyes as the understanding dawned in his mind. "Edward you are just having a rough time. We can go hunting now." He still had hope, but they both knew deep down this was not a passing 'rough time'.

"No Carlisle. I need to leave. I respect your way of life, I really do, but I have been given a gift. Why should I deny the physical appetite when I can bring justice to those who do wrong?"

Esme came and stood by Carlisle placing a hand on his arm. "Do you think this will be justice for these people?" Concern filled her voice. It was torture inside to see the hurt that was coming into her eyes, but I had decided. This was going to be best.

Carlisle's thoughts sprang with the incalculable amount of reason's to live as he did. I would not be taken in again.

"Stop Carlisle. I have thought about this. I am sorry, but this is how it is going to be." Walking to the door I opened it and stood with one hand on the knob. "You have both been like parents to me. I won't forget that." Turning back I sprinted into the now pitch blackness trying to avoid the final thoughts of Carlisle, still one broke through before I could make the required distance.

_I love you son._


	2. Chapter 2Indecision

Recap: "Stop Carlisle. I have thought about this. I am sorry, but this is how it is going to be." Walking to the door I opened it and stood with one hand on the knob. "You have both been like parents to me. I won't forget that." Turning back I sprinted into the now pitch blackness trying to avoid the final thoughts of Carlisle, still one broke through before I could make the required distance.

_I love you son._

Chapter Two "Indecision":

I did not stop running for most of the night. It seemed the farther I got from home the more the physical desires I had suppressed lurched to the surface and cried to be free. The thirst, as always, was itching at my mouth and throat. I knew by now my eyes were coal black. I needed blood, and I needed it soon. Coming over the crest of a small hill the moonlight that filtered through the clouds overhead lighted the city.

I stopped near the edge of the residential portion of the city. Almost no lights were on, and little sound was heard. The houses were all stacked into rows, and a few had little white picket fences surrounding the lot. I stood silently and began to scan thoughts of those who were still awake.

_Okay only one more hour to study, and then I am going to sleep,_ thought one.

_Sleep. I need to stop thinking so I can sleep…One, Two, Three…..SLEEP! Ahh! I am going to be awake forever,_ thought another.

Finally, I smiled, someone who sounded promising. _I can break in and get it started in about one minute. The car can probably fetch $3,000._ Quickly I snuck through the streets until I sat behind a bush on the opposite side of the man. He sat in the shadow of a wooden fence admiring a car parked in front of him. It wasn't much of a car, I had owned much better, but he was going to steal it anyway.

The monster inside me smiled. It needed to be fed. Again, as so often before, I suppressed it waiting for the man to reveal more of his thoughts. He began to run through a checklist in his mind in preparation of the heist.

In turn I began to run through the scenarios of how I was going to get at the man with the least amount of risk. The last thing I wanted was an innocent being wrapped up in the carnage. Still I waited for the man to reveal his true thoughts, and the true nature he had. I had seen so many of his type before who had a lot worse than car robbery on the mind. I waited, but it never came.

Passing through the neighborhood a policeman drove by. Startled, the man turned away. The monster inside me wanted to follow and continue with the plan, but grand theft auto was hardly a crime worth punishment by death. I did not have any money however, and taking his wallet was justifiable I figured. The man did not even turn as I quickly moved from the shadows and quickly made the silent grab.

By this time I could ignore my thirst no longer. Making my way to the edge of the city again I satisfied my appetite with the first deer I was able to come across.

With the clarity that the fresh meal gave me I made my way to the main highway. The blood suppressed the craving, but it was still there. In time it would grow again to an unstoppable limit.

Unsure of what to do with the rest of the night I walked down the shoulder of the main highway back toward the city. I would need to decide where I would go, and what I would do.

_Step up and slip smack._ I stopped at the non-sense thought someone was thinking. Looking up the road I could see the unmistakable shake of a drunk walk. Getting closer the sharp sting of alcohol aroma wafting from the man hit my nose. I walked by waiting for him to shrink away like all the humans do, but instead he walked up and put his arm around my shoulder. Clearly he had no sense of safety. Anyone who wanted to be close to me had little idea of self preservation.

"Hello stranger." The man said with a drunken smile.

"Hello." I answered back sternly hoping he would get the hint as I shrugged his hand off my shoulder. He swayed slightly as he lost his support.

"Want a drink?" he offered, holding up a small silver flask.

"No thanks, I just had one." I answered, inwardly laughing slightly. I couldn't help but turn my thoughts back to Carlisle. Perhaps he was right about these humans. They could be pitiful. Again the old argument for Carlisle's compassion of all humans came into my mind. I began to wonder if I had done the right thing. The monster inside growled at my thoughts.

Suddenly the man's thoughts startled me back into reality. _He looks like he might have some money on him. Do I still have my knife?_ I noticed his hand feel his pocket. I could hear his thoughts unfold as he decided he would rob me.

Turning to him I smiled. Carlisle was wrong. There were people who needed my type of justice. My justice would take down the purely evil, and save the innocent.

"You know you never had a chance." I said.

"What?" he slurred. Quickly I struck and knocked him out cold. I left him on the side of the road in a place he would be safe.

There were people worse than a drunk, and the cycle for blood was already beginning to grow. It was all clear, yet something was wrong. Something did not feel right. Something was missing.


	3. Chapter 3Quenched

Recap: There were people worse than a drunk, and the cycle for blood was already beginning to grow. It was all clear, yet something was wrong. Something did not feel right. Something was missing.

Chapter Three "Quenched":

It was interesting to see how much my appetite pushed me now that I had decided to give into the desires of my monster. The blood from the humans around me seemed to swirl in the air around me, tempting me. It had been several weeks since my last kill with the deer. I decided to stay in a run-down motel on the outskirts of a large city, the kind of motel that did not ask for names. The city itself was teeming with people, which is exactly what I wanted. Everything seemed to be falling into place to start my new lifestyle, but still I felt empty inside. What was wrong with me? In my mind I pictured how I had hurt Carlisle and Esme, my family. But it was probably time that I moved on, and I tried to convince myself how they had probably already moved on. This would give them a chance to be together without me interrupting. I had tried to make it easy for them. No prolonged talk or leading up to my leaving. I had made a clean break, which was always best.

Into the city I stealthily moved. The roar of people's voices in my head could be deafening, and usually were unoriginal. In this city it seemed it never slept, there was always someone awake, no matter what time of day it was. The buildings were taller here than in most, which left a lot of dark alleys and streets. The perfect place for the scum I was trying to find. The moon tonight was only about half full, and the clouds covered most of the light.

I was still trying to be active in the day, but it had become more difficult when there was no one to talk to. I had to be more careful here as well. The sunlight was a lot more frequent in this place than in my previous.

Here I was though, in the night. More and more it seemed I welcomed the nighttime. I sat in the dark alley behind one of the large buildings. Several dark figures had passed by this point already, but I was keeping watch on one in particular. His thoughts were loathsome, and he had picked my alleyway to sit in. He hid in the shadows a few feet in front of me, never knowing I was there.

It cut me to the core when a young girl turned into the alley. She was clearly new to the area and was very much lost. I could see that the directions she was following were poorly written. Immediately the man's thoughts began to coil like a snake, and he prepared himself to strike. He had been planning this all night, or course, it did not matter who, but she had happened to step into the alley first.

Steeping out behind her as she passed the man spoke.

"Are you lost miss?" his voice sounded rough, and he was smiling. It was all a game to him. The anger inside me was beginning to really swell now. It seemed the more angry I was becoming the more the picture of Carlisle was pushed from my mind.

She was brave, and answered calmly. "I will manage thank you." Her mind was racing, looking for a way out. The dirt alley only had two ways out, one behind the man, and one the stretched out too far away. Large metal trash cans were placed along the backs of the walls on either sides. The only lights that would be there, by the back door of the shops, were burned out or broken.

"Are you sure I couldn't help you." He stepped forward. Inside he was laughing. He was actually enjoying his mockery. Inside I could feel myself boiling up like a pressure cooker.

"Just leave me alone." She picked up her pace. The man picked up his, and was about to leap into action. Not able to hold back, a growl was let loose from my throat. The deep noise resonated down the dark alley. Both immediately stopped and turned to look where the noise had come from. I hit the large rusted garbage I was hiding behind. The woman was the first to run. She knew something was there. I was happy to see that she thought it must have been a large dog, or wolf. It was something so much worse than those however, it was me.

The man was the next to run. I knew the moment for indecision was gone, and the time for action was now. But even here at the last second Carlisle's face passed across my mind. So many times it had been his face that had held me back in the last moments when things got rough. I quickly shoved it aside, and could feel the arms of monster taking control. I gave in and watched as I sprung from my hiding spot. The man was so startled when he saw my face. The anger inside had built up and built up through the night by all the things he had thought. Now, happily, I was able to release what was inside and push back everything else.

"Are you lost mister?" came the angry growl from my lips.

"Just leave me alone." Cried the man.

"No, I think from now on you will be the one leaving everyone else alone."

The blood I received that night was like everything I had dreamed of. I seemed that the monster inside was cheering from it. I could feel the thirst that had been built inside for so long so easily pushed away. It was the final freedom that I was looking for. All had been quenched inside. Yet somehow something inside was not quenched.

That night I returned home, after cleaning up. It bothered me, this feeling of something empty inside. It was not a desire for blood; that had been quenched…for now. It was something else. Looking around the empty room I began to see more clearly what was bothering me. I could not handle being alone any longer.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to all those who have written a review. It really helps a lot. Edward's turn to this decision isn't over yet, so I hope the next chapter will illuminate where he is headed.


	4. Chapter 4Mistakes

Chapter Four "Mistakes":

I took to the road while the moon was still high. The police were bound to find my kill sooner or later, and it was best to be out of the area when they did.

Traveling until just before daylight I again stopped in a run-down motel. I noticed it was on the edge of the city I had stopped in the first night, after I had run away from Carlisle and Esme.

Approaching the counter I kept a scowl on my face, which seemed to counter-balance the unnatural looks that I had. Reading the thoughts of the young woman behind the counter I could see my scowl had little effect. But I could see she was still tired, so probably wouldn't clearly remember me anyway.

"One single room." I placed a stack of bills on the table.

She looked up. _Oh he is gorgeous! Did I do my hair this morning?_ "How long will your stay be?"

"A week." I said forcefully, showing I was not in the mood for chit-chat. I could see her thoughts racing for ideas of what to say to get me to stay at the desk longer, and I was relieved to see she could come up with none.

Flipping the light on in the room I could see several bugs run for the cover of darkness. The faucet in the restroom dripped a continual drip. A few cracks ran along the walls.

Over the week it seemed the early morning hours showed only one form of entertainment…following the thoughts of Sarah, the front desk worker. Her thoughts at times were dull, but something was soothing following them. In the early morning hours, when everyone else slept, she was all I could hear. Hearing what she was thinking seemed to suppress my own feelings of loneliness.

She had so much going on in her life, and oddly enough, several similar circumstances as my own. She had just run away and was starting a new life. She also had feelings of loneliness, although she often thought of a boy named Rick. _I wonder if Rick noticed me today. Rick is so cute. I wish Rick would ask me out._ Rick, of course, was clueless.

Normally I would have avoided one person's thoughts for so long, but they seemed to bring a sense of peace. I still could not understand half of what she was about, like how can anyone fall in love so fast, but I enjoyed it still.

My week in the motel turned into two, but like always my thirst was returning. It was time to move on. The clouds had moved into town over the course of the night, and I decided it would be nice to move during the day for a change. This meant I would have to stay to the forest in case the clouds broke, but I preferred the forest anyway.

It was also against my better judgment, but I decided to help Sarah out before I left. I was thinking about giving Rick some sort of clue that she liked him. I continued to follow her thoughts as I prepared to leave. _The rain is starting to come down. It looks like it is going to be a really big storm._

I continued, inwardly laughing at some of her thoughts. Suddenly her thoughts went quiet. At first I thought nothing of it and continued to get ready. The silence continued. I stopped to try to listen to her. That is when I picked up the thoughts of someone else. In his mind I could see Sarah…dead on the floor. She had died instantly with the knife he had used.

Rushing out of my room and down the rusty stairs toward the office, the smell of her blood hit me before I even got near the door. Just leaving the car lot I could hear the man counting his earnings…$100.

The storm overhead had rolled in leaving dark clouds covering the sky. Darkness covered the ground. A burst of lightning split the clouds in the distance, and rain began to fall in torrents.

Running I easily shadowed the car as it continued to drive to a rural portion of the city. Stopping in front of a small wooden home the man stumbled from his car. He was laughing. He rushed inside covering his head from the storm's water.

Rushing to the side of the house I began to pick out other people's thoughts. _$100, not bad. I got more on my last run._ The thought continued to swirl like the dark clouds overhead, occasionally thundering truly sinister thoughts.

The door burst into splinters against the impact of my body. The men all sat in the front room; the money lay on the table in front of them. Panic ensued in most of their thoughts when they looked at the door.

Suddenly I was the one thrown off guard when I looked into the face of the murderer and he spoke, "You again?" His voice was definitely more coherent, yet it was the same drunk I had met my first night away from Carlisle.

"Not you!" I replied, shocked. It was then I realized this was my fault. I had let him pass that night, knowing his thoughts. It was my fault Sarah was dead instead of him. "Never again." I growled.

One man jumped at me, knife blazing. He was dead before he hit the floor. The others stood in astonishment.

"Please I have a family." Cried one.

"No you don't." I calmly replied.

"Yes I do, two little girls." His reply did not even warrant a reply. His thoughts had already betrayed his lie.

The killer looked at me, thinking of his gun sitting in a drawer only feet away. He lunged for the drawer, but dropped it when he turned back. He was the only one left standing in the room besides me.

"Who are you?" he spoke.

"No, what am I is what you meant. I am a vampire, and I think I will have that drink that you offered."

That night I left the house in flames to erase all signs of the filth inside. No more would I hold the monster back from erasing the filth I found.

As I walked in the forest with new resolve I heard something. It was something fast. That was when I picked up the thoughts. "It" was another vampire.

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Author's Note: Thanks to all those who have reviewed. This is my first fanfic, so it is really really appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5Company

I waited patiently. I knew the vampire would know I was in the area shortly. I was happy to see that when she caught my scent she had no violent thoughts towards me. Soon she stepped from the foliage.

"I thought I heard someone in the area." I said, not really knowing what else to say. I smiled and put on a friendly face, still unsure of what she was like.

"Hello I am Eliza." She said stepping a little closer. She had long blonde hair, and vibrant burgundy eyes. Her actions were not totally unguarded, but her thought gave away her slight unease.

"Where are you headed?" I asked.

"I was headed to the city for a time, unless of course you have made a claim to the area." She was fairly new to this type of life it seemed.

"I have just come from the city, and it may be best for you if you avoided the area for a time."

Her thoughts were at a slight loss of what to do. She began to think of another she had known, the vampire that had turned her. It was clear that their separation had been not too long ago.

"Are you traveling alone?" I already knew the answer to the question, but to keep up appearance I decided to ask aloud.

"Yes, my partner tragically had a run in with a pack of werewolves. I am now traveling alone." There was pain in her mind, although she hid it well in her voice.

I began to ponder on how Carlisle had begun his own family. Had it not started with one other? He had found a companion to share his time with, and later a wife. Perhaps, I thought, Eliza could help take away some of the bane of this half life I was living. Finding a companion to roam with could make things more complete.

Was I looking for a mate or just someone to accompany me? I could tell that Eliza would hardly be someone I would be attracted to. He thoughts were often of herself, but then again I had just met her and knew very little about her.

"I am headed north; perhaps you would like to accompany me for a little while?"

The mental battle raged in her mind for a few second, but I was pleased to see that I won out against other ideas. As we made our way through the dense forest I began to see more and more the potential that another vampire would make to my show. From the past city I could see that the food supply would not be scarce, and an increase in company was needed. The forest was especially quiet tonight with the only occasional sound of the wind in the trees, and small animals on the ground.

As we continued onward we made our way to a forest meadow. In the center of the meadow sat several deer. I smiled as we came upon them, and slowed my pace a little.

"Have you ever tasted deer?" I asked curiously.

Eliza laughed a little, but quickly hid her smile when she could see that I was serious. "Deer? Why would I have deer? They smell disgusting, not even the least bit desirable…when compared with the alternative."

"Yes, I can't say that I think the taste is much better then they smell, but it does help with the thirst."

She laughed. "You have tried deer? Were you lost in the woods in the middle of nowhere or something?" I knew whether she were to ever accompany me would largely depend on this conversation. I was trying to show tact.

"Actually until just a short time ago deer is all that I have had. Of course you know from my eyes that my eating patterns have changed, but in a way that benefits both vampires and humans." I kept looking forward, but I was focusing on her thoughts and seeing how she was going to react. She thought I must be partly loony, but she did not let her thoughts show in her body language. She was always very relaxed now.

"So why the deer?" This was going to be a long story, so I sat down. Seeing as we had all the time in the world I decided to go with the long version. She sat patiently as I told her what I was trying to do now. I knew a lot of what I had to say did not make much sense to her, but some of it did. As the morning light began to filter through the night's clouds I finished my story. The moment had come to either part ways, or continue onward together.

"Knowing what I have told you, would you like to continue onward, and learn a new way to hunt? It will take more time, yes, but it will be more rewarding I believe. We can be a part of picking off all those who are the true monsters."

She hesitated, rapidly thinking of the proposition from different angles and scenarios. At last she looked up and smiled. "Sure. I can learn a new way to hunt. Justice for the darker humans, it is an interesting concept."

Inwardly I was rejoicing. Finally I could follow what I believed was right, and I did not have to do it alone. I had found someone who could accompany me. I still had not learned that at times it is when some are in the company of others that you can feel the most alone. No I had not learned this yet, but I would.


	6. Chapter 6Questions

Chapter 6 "Questions":

Tonight it seemed so much was different, but still the same. I hid in a dark alley waiting for my prey. It was interesting to hunt the hunter. Many times the anticipation and thoughts of those I tracked shadowed my own thoughts. In a way it was a bit jarring, but my motives were infinitely better than theirs.

My eyes hardly cut through the darkness that had crept over everything in the nighttime. Across the way I could just make out the silhouette of Eliza. Our relationship had seemed to develop into a business type. She knew she could rely on me to find the perfect opportunity and person to feed the monster appetite while leaving the least possible amount of evidence. In return she gave me someone to talk to and plan with.

_I wish he would hurry up. I am getting hungry. Maybe he changed his mind._ Eliza's thoughts continued onward, mostly thinking with her stomach.

"He will be here. I saw he was thinking about this particular place for his next crime." I whispered. My voice carried in a low pitch that would hardly sound like a breeze on the chill wind.

"Fine, but I can't take this much longer. There are so many people passing by too. It would be so easy…" she began to think out loud.

"Hasn't an eternity taught you any patience?" I asked.

I could hear her mind ramping up to bring a stinging response, but we both heard the solid steps of the man we were waiting for. Looking over his jacket he turned into the alley. He shivered slightly and pulled his jacket closer, trying to close himself off from the biting wind. The man looked around suspiciously. It was as if inside he could feel he was in danger, but he beat these thoughts away, calling them only "pre-game jitters".

As I had always imagined, having Eliza around had helped take away some of the loneliness that had buffeted me. I sat in anticipation of what she would do. We had been together for several years, and I was well aware of the pattern we had created with ourselves.

Smiling she stepped from her hiding spot. As always the man's initial response was fear, until he saw what he thought was a weak, unprepared person. Always they saw the opportunity of a quick robbery, or worse.

"Evening mister." She gleamed her brilliant teeth.

I waited for my cue. She would probe him with questions, making everything look as if she were vulnerable. I would sit in the shadows picking up every vile thought until I was satisfied, after which it was feeding time.

Tonight was different however. I was so focused on him that I did not pick up on the thoughts building inside her. It was not until she had jumped and was nearly on top of the man that I realized there would be no waiting for my okay tonight.

"Eliza wait!" I hissed out.

"Not tonight Edward." She said turning her full gaze at me. I was slightly taken aback. Her eyes were alive in ecstasy from the few droplets she had already received. There was nothing but gluttony. Again I was reaffirmed that we had lost our souls. Seeing another vampire feed like that put little doubt into my mind. How could I watch one feed like that? She had not been taken over by the monster inside like so many before, she had chosen to strike with another alternative on the table.

Turning away I left Eliza to finish what she had begun. It was not long until I could hear her coming after me.

"Edward wait. What is the big deal? We were going to do it anyway."

"How can you possibly know that? I still was unsure; he might have had a last minute change of heart." I was beginning to get angry. I could feel it starting to fester inside.

"Edward it doesn't matter. It is all a lie anyway." I snarled and opened my mouth to respond, but her thoughts cut me off.

_You are so self-righteous thinking you are better for what you do. Have you ever taken the time to see the effects of your so called justice? It is a joke Edward. We are vampires! Humans are our food, and that is the end of it. _

The several year partnership was at an end, and we both knew it. The wind in the trees blew and we both sat in silence for a moment listening to it.

"There is nothing left to be said then." Again the image of her attacking and the un-human glee in her flashed through my mind. I ran away from her soulless life into the darkened forest.

Gaining time to think about it, the thoughts inside of her had been building for a time. We had never been really compatible in any way. I had just hoped to somehow clear the void of loneliness inside. In the end, however, Eliza seemed to show me how open the void really was. It was something else that Eliza had said though that haunted me for a time. I had never taken any time to recall the effects of what I was doing. Ironically it was these effects that eventually brought me home at last.

Author's Note: A great big thanks to all those who have reviewed. I will take positive or negative reviews, I just like hearing what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

It would have been so nice to forget what Eliza had said and continue on with my life. But like an earth worm borrowing in the earth her words were making its way to my core. Could I be sure that I was doing the humans a favor at all? I had never stayed around long enough to discover if what I was doing did not have any long term effects or not. I continued on for a week wandering from town to town as I always did, but before I realized it myself I was tracking back to the towns I had taken my victims from.

Walking into the middle of the city I stayed in the shadow. The night was a moonless one. Most of the people had turned in for the night. This city seemed to be diving farther into darkness since the last I had been here.

I smelt the fear on the man before I ever got close enough to hear his thoughts. He thought about the knife that he was twirling in his fingers, debating in his mind. _Come on. It will be easy. Just step out from the shadows and take the wallet. You can do this._

"No better time to figure out what the effect is than the present", I thought to myself. I waited as a spectator this time. Instead of strategizing and following every movement I merely waited.

With sudden irony the man thought of the drunk man that I had taken care of so long ago. It seemed filth ran in packs. He had known him, which further added to my thoughts that he was murderer. Why think of that man unless you had learned the trade from him?

I could smell the sweat on the man start to accumulate. His breathing was becoming more intense. _Okay next person. Next person. Next person._ I watched as a young man walked around the corner. I vowed I would not interfere, until the action of the man in the shadows was imminent.

Closer and closer the boy came. The man in the shadows stiffened and gripped tighter onto his knife. Slowly I crouched into position, ready to jump from my place and take down the man with the knife. I waited and waited in anticipation, but the moment never came. In astonishment I saw the man in the shadows drop his knife, and I could smell the salty tears come to his eyes. The young man continued to walk down the street, not even aware what had just taken place.

Perplexed I followed the man as he walked away in the opposite direction. Again he turned his thoughts to the drunk man….no, I realized, not the drunk man, but his children. _They are going to starve! What am I going to do? I am not a thief, and I received nothing from begging._

Like a ton of bricks it hit me that he was taking care of those orphan kids, as well as his own. He had no money for this.

As if turning a light switch on inside, the faces of all those I had taken came streaming into my mind. I tried to push them away and replace them, but the more I tried to push them away the more they seemed to push through. The blood created through years of being a vampire was staggering. I waited and waited for the end of the victims faces to end my mind, but it would not come. Each popped into my mind, with a name and face. After each of these faces popped into my mind, the realization of all those who had waited up for them each night was alarming.

Could I ever say this was justice? Wasn't the root of what I was really doing the blood and not the justice. It was nothing more than a justification to fold under the weight of the monster that resided inside of me. Perhaps these people did deserve to die, but could I ever make up the debt of so much human life?

A darkened shadow fell over my conscience. It felt as if a hole resided inside of my chest, and my heart had truly faded from existence. I wanted to turn away from the man, and push away the realization of what I would have done to him if I had acted while he still had the knife in his hand. But I had come to see the effects of what my actions would have done, so I followed the man that had put a face onto all of my victims.

The man walked into his home, and was greeted by four tiny faces. Normally kids this age would be in bed, but I could see that the mother was not around. The man turned his thoughts to her as he walked in, and I realized that she had died a year previous.

"Daddy!" yelled two little boys and two little girls. I snuck to the window to look in on the family. The father bent and hugged his kids, two of which were the orphaned kids of the drunk man. The father hid his tears and sorrow well.

"Are you hungry?" he asked his kids.

"Yes Daddy!" they chorused together.

Smiling the man pulled bread from his pocket. I could see from his thoughts that he had bought it with the last bit of money that he had. The children tore into the bread ravenously.

"Are you going to eat?" asked one of the children or his father.

"No I have already eaten.", lied the father.

I had, of course, seen the monster in myself. How many times had the blood I had taken only caused more suffering for the innocent? How could I ever account for the alarming accumulation of human life?

Turning away from the window I walked away with my head bent down. I returned later that night with enough money to allow the man to set his life back up. The money would allow him to not only survive for a time, but set out and find a job and home.

I shoved the envelope into the man's mail slot, which read "Swan", his last name. I waited up all night and into the morning making sure that the man received the money. I had to laugh to myself when he received it. He did not understand how he had received an award for a contest he could not remember applying for, but he was ecstatic none-the-less. The man now had the means to pursue any job he wanted, and I chuckled at the irony when he began to think about law enforcement. I left the man to his family, and my thoughts returned to my own home.

Carlisle had told me everything in advance. He had told me of the pain that this decision I had made would make. I had turned away from them. How could Carlisle and Esme ever take me back?


	8. Chapter 8Reunion

In the recent past I had hunted down some of the most ferocious and evil of humans. I had hid and hunted in some of the most brutal and deadly of environments that the world has to offer, yet it was here, close to my old home that I truly felt fear. For years I had been gone, now like the prodigal son I returned.

It had been several weeks from the time that I had decided to try to find anyway to return to Carlisle and Esme….return to my family. I had given myself time to erase all existence of my rebellion against Carlisle's way of life. I did not want to even have my eyes betray how I had lived.

The dense woods surrounded me on the outskirts of Carlisle's land, and the heavy rain that fell clouded any scent that would betray my position to them. The animals around did not even seem to notice me as they cowered in the cover of trees. Silently I sat, my mind blank.

I had planned many strikes and kills with great precision, but now I sat thoughtless of how to approach the two people whom I loved the most. Fear is what held me back. I tried to push it aside, but it continued to return throwing question after question at me. "How can Carlisle forgive you for betraying him like that?" "Carlisle and Esme will be happier with you gone." "Why should he ever look at you again?"

Looking through the trees I could see the light inside the house and the shadows of both inside moving about. I was close enough that I could begin to listen into the conversation. I thought to myself, "Maybe if they never let me back into their lives I can find a way to stay close enough to hear them." To me it seemed that even a life on the outside would mean more than my life now.

"How was your day darling?" I could hear Esme think as she spoke to Carlisle.

"Well. I helped several people who were sick very badly." This made me smile. It was always amazing to see the joy that his work brought to him. Giving life back to those who were on the edge of dying, it seemed noble. It almost gave me a desire to go into studying medicine again just thinking about it.

They continued to talk over the details of the day both danced in their conversation from subject to subject, both avoiding the one topic that both had sitting on the edge of their minds, the thoughts of their wayward son.

I had not expected this. I held my breath in anticipation. After all this time I was surprised I was even in their thoughts.

Timidly I stepped forward toward the home. I was covered in the rain that had been beating down upon me for hours as I sat building the courage to make this step. Another step. Soon I would be close enough for them to hear and smell me, the point of no return. I was beginning to shake, and the monster inside of me reeled. It wanted me to turn back and feed on human blood. Pushing it aside I took another step. No matter how much the monster wanted it, nothing would pull me back under its curse again. The last step.

Inside Carlisle and Esme both stopped and stared at one another. Neither wanted to say what they heard or smelt. It seemed they had tricked themselves so many times before, that they scarcely believed I was there when it was true. Soon realization hit them both.

_Edward! Edward!_

Before I could make another step both had rushed into the rain and were by my side throwing their arms around me.

Keeping my eyes down I quietly spoke the words, "I am sorry."

Carlisle held me tighter. "It is okay son. Welcome home."

I couldn't help but smile when I could hear in both their minds that each thought the same thing at the same moment _I love you._

AN: A great big thanks to everyone who gave me a review. I love hearing what you all think. Also thanks a ton little sis. for reviewing my chapters for any mistakes. I hope you all enjoyed the story.


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